Stress, stress… The final frontier?

Life seems to have jumped to a new level of stress.  I think much of it is equated with a new period in my life:  30-somethingdom.  Each day is a non-stop study in “how-to-get-through-to-the-end-of-the-day-without-half-assing-too-many-things.”  Each day is about making sure Matilda is happy and cared for, making sure my job isn’t too roundly neglected, trying to keep the house clean and maintained, taking care of the dogs and kitties as best I can and…, after all that, making sure that Justin is set up with clean clothing and whatever else I can provide as he treks off for another 18 hour day.  He ends up on the bottom a lot of the time because he’s the only one on the list that can take care of himself.

The truth is, Justin and I have been living in an “every man for himself” type scenario.  We are passing ships in the night, literally.  It’s a destructive pattern that creates stress and tension.  We both feel it.  Matilda must as well.  I can only hope it rolls off of her.  I am painfully aware that everything, absolutely everything, is being absorbed into that little girl…   Each time I get upset, I know that’s a bundle of negativity being sucked into her without any way to retrieve it.  Some day when she is 20 and screaming at her mate or boss or whatever, she may step back and think, “why do I get so angry over such little things??”  If I am still alive and well, I’m sure I’ll blame it on myself and these early years.

I don’t want stress to be the final frontier.  It’s so easy to let that happen though. I think it’s why people say family/marriage takes work.  Everyone in a successful situation says that.  WORK.  HARD WORK.

Today I pledge once again to take that deep breath and view said stressful situation from a far away perspective… outer space, maybe.  I’ll examine it from afar and hopefully recognize that in the grand scheme of things, very little is as important as it might seem in the moment.

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