Physical Exhaustion

Worked my ass off this weekend. I seem to excel in spreading myself thin.

Now I’m sick and wondering how to keep Matilda from getting sick, too.

On another note, Valentine’s Day was a success at Stage West. Still hoping to receive my own teeny-tiny, non-material Valentine.

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Living in the Land of Motherhood.

I suppose some mothers just continue to be selfish.  Their kids learn to deal with it.  Life goes on for all parties involved.

I couldn’t do it though.  Yesterday I was faced with the excruciating decision to either do a play that I’ve always wanted to do (and will likely never get to do again) or stay home with Matilda.  Complicating matters:  Justin was cast in it already and no one was a real candidate to replace him.   On my side, however, there were droves of women who could play the parts I was up for.   I could take the role and hand-over Matilda to babysitters every night through April, knowing the chances of her getting hurt were slim to none.   I’d be doing a major role in a major play which would put a major check on my “must do” list.  I’d be working with Justin- something that will hardly be a regular opportunity.  OR I could stay home, watch Matilda, support Justin, man the cafe on show nights and watch the actors file in and out of the theatre, happy as clams at the opportunity they’d been given.

Needless to say, the whole situation made a mess of me.  I cried for 2 days straight and felt like vomiting the whole time.   (whiny bitch…)  Finally, I decided to be the mom.  She’ll never thank me for it.  She won’t even understand the impact on me.  But maybe I’ll see the results of my decision have a positive effect on her.

Either way, life will go on.

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